:.music for the soul.:

BOREDDDD

bored. scared. sick. tired.

yeah. summing it all up in four words.

bored- no-bahh-deyy at home but my maid and daddy again. on this nice wednesday night.. air is windy and chilly one moment then warm and humid the next.

scared- been reading too much crime novels. now that the house is so quiet.. i cant help but twitch at the slightest sound.... keeping on my toes.........@____@"

(haha okok i'm neurotic..)

and the recent kidnapping.. really really saddened by the news. poor girl..

i really am one big faint-hearted person..... haii.. cant watch horror movies.. even though i keep allowing myself to be pulled in to watch them.. appear to feel okay at the screening itself... and at night start getting all jittery and nervous about the house.. ahaha.

i'm that lousy lah...

from what dear weilin says.. its probably got to do with something fundamentally rooted in my personality type... haha.. the ISFP. hmm.

or is it something else.
haha..shall not bore u with the terribly boring rantings.

sick- caught the flu bug i teenk. :(
must have began when i spent quite a bit of time in the lep staff room while it rained cats and dogs outside on monday.... haha.. with the unpredictable weather.. and a history of superpok nose allergies.. my nose has begun to run like a tap once again.

tired- pw. one whole afternoon and half a morning of it. 'nuff said. :P

nice walking at sun plaza today with my pw gang.....:) and later alone at northpoint...muahahaha.. shopping for presents has always been thrilling and engaging. albeit back straining, wallet emptying..etc. did i mention i have a louse lower back? forever aching after just a few hours of walking.. haha. kk shall RESTRAIN myself (however bored i may be) before i embark on a description of my numerous physical ailments (from pimple harvests to finger numbness)..

hais. makes me kinda miss school.. and then also not.

i have a dream.. or is it just a desire of the moment? i want to save enough money for a course at hai die... sometimes have these urges all of a sudden.. to just rush on stage and shout out some random tune and phrase of a song... hoping someone would be at the receiving end...

sometimes i wish i could immerse myself in drama.. rush onto a stage and shout out some random line and hope somebody's listening..

but what happens when i get up front? i cower away..stammer..everything's stuck at the throat.. just wondering why i had these desires in the first place.. then make plans to run away..

i totally suck when the real thing comes.....
just wu fa zi ba...
after the whole thing then feel like killing myself..

do i willingly plunge myself into disappointment? depression? like what chen laoshi said before?
how its like.. as u're young.. u just want to push urself to indulge in sadness.. no matter how easy it may be for u to reach for the exit towards forgiving urself... and others..

ooh jeff chang's xia yi ge yong yuan (on 933)!!
i utterly love the song.. and its lyrics. his voice.

明天过后如果变成另外一个人
今天是我最后做个爱你的罪人
从此以后忘了你是我最爱的人
不要再一直留在原地回忆着伤痕

gaah i'm feeling so emotional today.. hahaha.. oh noo.. must be the runny nose.. my brain's feeling quite clouded up...

lol. better catch some sleep soon.

[to live...]

treasure ur hols before they go *poof*

[before u know it.]

haha. :)
oh no there goes the nose.
-sniffs and runs off for the toilet roll-

nitez.

aside: congrats to mama for having finished her exams!!!

posted by jias tham @ 11:18 PM