:.music for the soul.:

m a n i c depressive.

bleh i should be sleeping now but today was qt a mad day since i woke up too sigh.

so with all these thoughts flying thr my head i think its going to be quite a long night again.
i dont recall being ever so depressed and irritated at the prospect of a day that would conclude with a fun concert... :S

i'm so fed up with being fed up..

baked shilin a cake with my sis today and the floor girls said it was nice haha. :)

i just have to sort out my thinking somewhere. noe that its not too big an issue and pple wont hate me if i make that request.

you know the worse part of an issue has hit u when u keep dwelling on the Ifs.. cos u dunno what else u can do.. but to keep questioning.. what if this didnt happen? what if u hadnt arranged it this way earlier? what if you didnt do this.. what if what if. u just keep going down.

did this personality test that says i'm a melancholic phlegmatic. i agree.. i'm too mp for my own good. keep dwelling on the frustrating, sad stuff.. and i think it drives everyone around me mad.

i hate the fact that i was looking forward to my project mates coming over to my house to rehearse for our presentation on wed... only to now be filled with doubts abt whether it was a wise decision in the first place considering the fact that aca pracs are crucial and i shouldnt have chosen not to hang ard in hall for emergency practices just before the performance.

i need to be able to sleep properly again.

i'm sorry to have made u worry... i guess i just need to vent. and i should be alright after a while on my own. shouldnt have any major problems like go crazy or anything haha. sorry if i sadden u with my posts.

meantime i'll just keep being frustrated with being frustrated. an endless cycle.

i pray for a much better day ahead.. deep down inside i think i believe that the esplanade gig will be a great experience. i just have to survive everything before it and within me.

posted by jias tham @ 1:40 AM